God's Not Dead

God's Not Dead

            For a while in my life, I intensely believed there was no possibility that a God existed. Growing up, my life has been a constant battle. I noticed, at the time, that children my age were not going through what my older brother and I had to endure. In an extraordinary way, these moments would later help me develop to become a strong, independent individual. As time progressed, I saw myself becoming more distant to God. I observed my life and the lives of other good people and noticed one common thing; all these people underwent constant complications in their lives.

At this point, I asked myself, “Why do bad things always happen to good people?” I questioned the existence of a god. Many people, amongst these my mother, attempted to persuade me otherwise. No matter, I was set in the notion of a universe with-out a higher being. Free will was an explanation to all the chaos the world held; yet, I countered with, “If an all knowing, all powerful god does exists, why would he allow free will if he knew it would lead to malicious acts and chaos. If free will is true, then there is no bigger plan. Therefore, either he has a cruel sense of humor or he simply does not exist.” Life had thrown many curve balls at me, along with some change-ups, and I was hitting nothing but foul-balls. I lamented the mishaps in my life. They were, by the most part, out of my control. My parents filing for divorce, losing my home, and relatives passing away, it seemed like the worst timing and it couldn’t have any greater purpose; or so I thought.

 Two years passed as if they were seconds, I was laying down ready to sleep and I began pondering. Through my mind rushed the thoughts of near death moments I had escaped in the past three years and how it was something greater at hand or blind-luck. As I played with the concept longer and longer, I noticed my gratitude unraveling’s to this higher being. Next I know, I am having intricate conversations with it. As of today, I like believe that I am not alone, that this powerful being has a plan for me and is assisting me to achieve it. This mentality has opened my eyes to the multitude of possibilities and has helped me strive to improve myself. I have also opened up to my mother more and I believe I have helped her cope with these losses.